Feeding frenzy fuels pols through 30-hour lame duck session

I hope I'm not being suckered by some Onion-style satire, but the PR firm of Truscott Rossman has put out a list of all the food and goodies they made available to legislators and lobbyists during the the 30-hour lame duck session in Lansing. 

“'Feeding Frenzy' is one of my favorite traditions,” said Kelly Rossman-McKinney, CEO of Truscott Rossman. “There’s not much we can do to speed up the lame duck process, but we can sure make it easier to tolerate.”

The list is, frankly, astounding in it volume and variety:

* 1,500 Slim Jims

* 1,000 Mini candy canes

*  400 Blow Pop Suckers

*  120 Assorted doughnuts

*   300 Cookies

*   360 Oranges

*   196 Bananas

*    465 Apples

*    744 Bags of assorted chips
*    240 Bags of Gardetto’s

*    288 Bags of Combos

*    120 Bags of Veggie Straws & Chips

*    216 Packages of cookies

*    528 Assorted granola bars

*    240 bags of Chocolate M&M’s

*    288 Bags of Peanut M&M’s

*    192 Twizzlers

*    168 Starbursts

*     120 Rice Krispies Treats

*     728 Assorted king-size candy bars

*    1,500 Assorted fun-size candy bars

*    1,290 Sticks of gum

*    1,450 Cups of regular Coffee

*      120 Cups of decaf coffee

*      480 Bottles of assorted juices

*      402 Cans of Coke

*     542 Cans of Diet Coke

*     1,488 Bottles of water

*       240 Pounds of ice

“Hosting the Feeding Frenzy is our way to say that we appreciate the work policymakers do,” said John Truscott, president of Truscott Rossman. “We do it to make the lame-duck session a little more bearable.”
That may be true, but I've gotta believe that list is going to inspire some legislator/lobbyist jokes.
Any suggestions?
I would say that, if the firm had provided an open bar, Truscott Rossman may have gone broke. And we may have seen a more productive legislative session than this rotten lame duck.

Truscott and Rossman-McKinney